Tired of my humdrum paper shuffling job, a few years back I sought a role as an Administrative Officer. A friend tipped me off that I should seek to create a positive impression and so, ignoring the usual gibberish in the Person Specification, I approached the task with a flamboyant flourish. I didn’t get the role but I trust that you, dear reader, will be more discerning.
Born, nay borne, into greatness, I was educated in prestigious surroundings, tutored by the greatest minds that ever strode the halls of academia, leaving all who were graced by my presence literally speechless. That they deigned not acknowledge nor speak to me, I continue to take as a sign of my exalted status among the already exemplary.
Years later it was made clear to me just why I was so special and so, now armed with a trusty stick as my guide, I set my sights on the lustrous lights of London. Years exploring the nuances of the corporate business world were valuable preparation for my life as a journalist where once again I literally galvanised the staff of the fondly remembered Disability Times transforming it into the world class publication that it was at its heyday. Years studying at the University of Westminster, home to such luminaries as Billy Ocean, were followed by five years interviewing the great and the good before I saw fit to return the compliment – helping others up the ladder that I had so effortlessly scaled. Now I’m radiating joy and soon dear reader, Deo Volente, you will be too!